Square One: An Introduction

Why hello there folks, why don't you step on in...

All the boring stuff is in my profile, so if you feel you learn best by reading limited entries related to arbitrary categories then so be it, but here is the gist of ME.

Upon meeting me, one would traditionally see me as a slacker, a waste of teachers time, and a general Know-Nothing. A grain of truth, but not wholly accurate. I am constantly reminded by teachers, friends, coworkers, and everyone else of how much of an underachiever extraordinaire I tend to be. With a 2.9 GPA and a 32 on the ACT, it's hard to argue with their assessments.

After about five minutes, you find out that I love heavy metal and most everything associated with it. While I have a certain affinity for classic rock, blues, and classical music, I can almost always find some band from Amon Amarth to Zimmer's Hole that suits my mood that day. Finding heavy metal made me who I am today, and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Ten minutes go by, and you realize that, while I can be a well-meaning guy, I choose not to be. I find the being the villain is much more fun, if only in my own insignificant ways. People see me as a bit "different", but really I just feel like a villain's motives are not always as clear as a hero's- and that intrigues me.

15 minutes is usually when my opinionated personality comes out. It doesn't take long for me to find something to disagree about. I'm Atheist, and that gets a lot of attention. I've been asked by kids I know are as smart as I am the same questions everyone else asks: "What happens when you die?" or "Then where do your morals come from?" That's a discussion for a later day.

Now you know me, time to know why I call this blog "Square One".

Recently, there has been a rather large movement in metal that, inadvertently, has brought metal into the mainstream. In some cases, this is great, because new bands are achieving critical AND commercial success without sacrificing the music. Lamb of God is a perfect example of such- they are one of the best reviewed bands of recent memory, their most recent albums (Sacrament and Ashes of the Wake) both got Grammy noms for Best Metal Performance, and are still one of the most evil-sounding bands on the face of the planet (thanks in large part to Randy Blythe).

My problem stems from bands that do in fact sacrifice the music for better album sales, but still try to fly the "Heavy Metal" banner. Avenged Sevenfold, I'm looking at you. Your clean-vocals and glam/nu-metal hybrid guitars make you sound like Lifehouse heard an old Slayer record and decided to try metal out, as a joke. But before I get flamed from A7X fanboys who are absolutely in love with Synyster and Zack(y), I will say this- these two do have real potential.

Here is my proposition: we round up all of the "commercial metal" bands and forcibly disband every one of them. Then, we stick them in groups based on who was influenced by what music (guys who started playing drums because of Gene Hoglan's performance on Darkness Descends by Dark Angel get together with a vocalist, bassist, and a pair of guitarists who share that inspiration) and have them start from

Square One.

They start out like many big metal acts- playing covers of their favorite bands. Metallica started out playing Diamondhead covers, for example. This will (hopefully) inspire them to get heavy, get technical, and get respected by the REAL metal fans. Release demos of their new material and work their way back up. Megadeth still tours, Slayer still tours, Priest, Maiden, Sabbath, Motorhead- all of them toured this summer. These guys are in their 40's, fifties, and in some cases 60's and they STILL rock. Bruce Dickenson still draws a crowd, even sans his legendary red flowing mane. If Chuck Schuldiner and Ace "Quorthon" Forsberg were still alive (may their music live on forever), Death and Bathory would both be touring, and not just to support new albums- no, they would tour for the fun of touring and for us- the fans.

I suppose I should wrap it up for tonight. Check out Negative Zen and Eye of the Ages for more quality ranting and raving between spurts of insight and political satire.

Just remember one thing- if metal is your thing, don't let family/peer/social pressure keep you from it, or it from you. That goes for everything. If you play an instrument, get out there and find some like-minded people and jam- who knows where we would be if Sabbath hadn't taken a chance on Ozzy?